It would seem that I have been neglecting all of my die hard fans out there. And yes, by that I mean ceiling fans that on occasion leave me with painful and unsightly welts on my forehead.
Ah spring break... It takes so long to get here and then it's gone in a flash. All STD's should be so lucky. I bought a porn the other day. Not because I felt like porn, but because I thought the plot was crazy awesome. The camera work is artfully done when your not staring at a close up of penile/vaginal nonsense. I must say however, that most of the acting is horrendously subpar to say the least. All save one. There is a scene in The Girl Next Door where we watch a clip of a porno that contains said girl. This clip involves a karate master who is hokey to an extreme. That man is in the film I bought and ironically he is the best actor in it. He isn't just good because everyone else is so bad. He really had me convinced that his character was real. Unfortunately, as I would find out rather quickly, for all of my praise of his acting ability the man of which I speak has a somewhat misshapen penis. Any whoodle, my lids are sagging worse than a seventy-six year old woman's double D's. I could try to combat this attribution with a stapler, but to take the cowards way out I think I'll just go to sleep.