People are starting to get annoyed that I don't have a regular writing schedule. Now I could say that I'm terribly sorry. I could say that I will do better. I could blow enough smoke up your ass to make the poe poe's wanna search your person. But to be honest... screw you! And your "I'm to good to wait on some guy who is only occassionally clever to come up with some A material" attitude. I don't need your approval to know I have a three and three-eighths inch love sausage, mouth watering acne, and a third nipple. Oh, yeah it's hot!
Judging from the awkward silence, I crossed a line. Allow me to retract my previous statement. I love all people. Even when they spit in my burger after coping an attitude with me because their life has not turned out as they planned. They were gonna be famous. They were gonna be rich. They were gonna have their cake and eat it to. Well I got news for ya kiddies. Life isn't a cream cheese danish. Life is a 300 pound, middle aged, comic book avid who lives in his mothers basement waiting for his girlfriend that he met online to message him.
You are his 20 sided die.
To make it in this life you've got to have goals, interests, dreams. Hard work and perseverance are the keys. And maybe not getting knocked up after prom from a guy whose only aspiration in life was to be lead guitarist in a Led Zepplin cover band... maybe that would have helped too. But I won't hold it against you. I love you dearly. I just have one tiny insignificant favor to ask.
Leave your baggage at the bus stop and gimme my friggin' triple patty melt.