Tuesday, May 24, 2005


I have exciting news! This girl on theFacebook added me as a friend. I was in a class with her best friend and therefore heard humorous tales of said girl. I decided that I would send her a messege because... huh? My communikae said this:

It's nice to... sort of... almost meet you. [Best friend girl] spoke of you semi-frequently in our 2D Design class. I say semi-frequently because I could just be remembering one time that she spoke of you and multiplying it in my head. I do that. Anywhoodle, I guess I should address why you are being sent this communikae. I am writing to you from a moonbase orbiting Trebulos 5 in the McFarien system. It's the second star to the left and straight on 'til mornin'. I am being held captive in the highest room of the tallest tower of Jarlon Grimstone's palace. (and not just my attention mind you. No, no... I'm a prisoner) I know this is a strange thing to ask a stranger... in a strange manner... with strange moon people... straaaaange. But ask I must. I need you to "borrow" a spacecraft with hyperspace capability and lots of Top Ramen (it's a long trip) from The Heaven on Earth Day Spa and Taxidermy Lodge in Paris... Texas. Then travel here and rescue me from my would-be suitor. All of this you must do before the dawning of the second day in the Oprah Winfrey Kinta Cloth Calender (2nd edition). For if you [Girl], do not, I fear that Lord Jarlon will wed me. I am not sure why he has chosen me, but I suspect it is because of my sweet ass. Oh what a very,very spankable, sweet ass I have. Help me [Star Wars Reference]. You're my only hope. End Transmission.

This was her response:

I was actually wondering about that... Your tracking device was somehow removed from your right butt cheek and tied to a Garlophostegus in the Brenack Galaxy. Let's just say that wasn't a pleasant surprise. Lucky for you, I am back on track and way ahead of you. I've already acquired a space ship that is capable of Ludicrous Speed (Yes, it is possible) and am currently travelling at an unbelievably fast pace to Trebulos 5. Unfortunately, my ship runs off beef boullion cubes, which are not nearly as efficent as Ramen fueled ships obviously, so I will need to make a stop somewhere around Kremmlakk 35 1/2 to procure more boullion. Jarlon doesn't stand a chance. End transmission.

Ho... lee... Crap. It is rare that someone plays along with my incoherent ramblings, crazy talk, and/or generally disarrayed thought patterns. Hopefully she will continue to build onto the story as is my goal. I commend her on her choice of proper nouns. Nice spellings. The story is solid, yet playful. Outlandish, complex..., brilliant. I have a feeling that future communication with her will be great fun.

This is A-funk signing out for the P.M.S. (pre-marital sex) Prickofore... inches.

P.S. I leave for a cruise tomorrow.

I have not packed a thing.

I should get my shit together.

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